Ever get a phrase or words to a song stuck in your head? You literally hear it to the point of nauseam! Like the song You’re So Vain… you probably think this song is about you!! It gets so deep into your brain that every sentence starts and ends with You’re So Vain! What do you want for breakfast? You’re So Vain! What socks should you wear? You’re So Vain! I love you. You’re So Vain! Sorry, not so sorry, about planting that song in your subconscious so much that you swear you keep seeing Carly Simon!
Much less annoying than You’re So Vain, I am completely preoccupied and consumed with the phrase, In a world you can be anything, be kind. This morning when I went for a run-connect with nature and God thing while reverse engineering my life, I felt in heaven gliding through the mountains of North Carolina as In a world you can be anything, be kindplayed like a broken record over and over in my head. It left me feeling present and alive. The air was so crisp I could taste the coolness. The fragrance of the flowers was magical melting my insides with a calmness. It was like a fusion of essential vitamins charging through my blood cleansing at the core. I felt nature.
There are moments of beauty as I described above and there are also moments less than that. Fortunately, in this let’s call it, “weird” time, my family and I made a great escape from Florida to be with the land in the southeastern parts of the United States (I say that with my deep southern bell accent). A.K.A. we decided a change of scenery and to enjoy a slower pace was needed. Don’t get me wrong, you can run but you can’t hide from the stifling news cycles and madness of our current world. First a pandemic. A freakin pandemic- sadness, confusion, emotion, and questions of mortality. There is no one in this world that has not been impacted.
I have tip toed around the current George Floyd protests and all the awfulness that has come along with it. I am a white, American privileged woman. To be honest, I was raised with a silver spoon in my mouth. I am married to a dark skinned, Dominican-Venezuelan raised without anything remotely resembling silver. He has lived a diversified life of racism and discrimination even as he has served and protected our country in the military and as a federal law enforcement officer for 31 years. We have two beautiful (I am biased) multi-racial and multi-cultural happy children. What do I tell them about this world? How do I explain brutality and unkindness? I don’t even know how to make sense of it myself. Luckily, at 4 and 6, I don’t think I have to explain much right now because I can keep them sheltered. But, I can’t forever, nor do I want to. I, we, my husband and I, want them to know who they are, where they come from, and the realities of life.
Part of me does not want to engage or give fuel in the powerful energy of hate and ugly being spread, but a stronger part of me cannot ignore it. Violence of these capacities and magnitudes are incomprehensible in the best of times, but right now this is happening when Americans are most vulnerable. Many coping from the pandemic with financial hardship, grief, anxiety, and at minimum some variations of pre-occupations pressing on fears and insecurities.
We all have our trials and tribulations. We all have our stories. We all walk into phases of life with a past blue print. Sometimes even pre-disposed from the way our mind has read the information from past events. What baggage are you carrying keeping you stuck or maybe even angry? This week I was honored to be asked to be an associate Rapid Resolution Therapy trainer by Dr. Jon Connelly to a group of colleagues and fellow practitioners on Eating Disorders. I made a comment that energy flows where energy goes. Based on feedback, it hit home for many. Meaning in an eating disorder or disordered eating if we only focus on what is wrong, then we get more wrongness- ya know, more of what you don’t want.
So, energy flows where energy goes in all capacities of our life. This impacts where we are right now in our current state of cultural disparity and in our own lives. I get you, I hear you, I understand if you are scared, anxious, sad, or how ever the hell you may be felling. I get it if things are not the way you thought they would be. How can any of this be happening? I am saying, if you don’t clean up your own side of the street (get your own shiFt together), how can you expect anything different of the world. I am not saying you have to jump into a UHAUL truck and take a leap, but I am asking what you can do to create more of what you want. How can you spread your love and kindness? How can you be your love? What baby step can you take right now to take care of you and be available for others? How can you be the change you want the world to be?
In a world 🌎 you can be anything 🌈… BE KIND. Be kind to yourself and be kind to others.
Your no bull-shiFt, mental fitness advising, new expert mountain hiking Mom, Psychologist Dara
P.S. Even while up here in the ol’ mountains, I am available to connect via FaceTime and Zoom for sessions.
P.S.S. Today is the 2nd day of June = the 2nd half of 2020. What are you waiting for? Spread some kindness (starting with you) and write this chapter now!